Roaring Season Christmas Poems

[fullnoise68]

Who`s going to be first .........

[Steve Emson]

Please Santa won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz, my brother drives a Porsche, I must make amends....

Christmas Racing Poem, Watkins Glen Edition
'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the Glen,
Not a sports car was stirring, not even a Renn.
The stockings were hung on the Tirerack with care,
In hopes that Saint Nick soon would soon be there.


The kiddies were nestled all tucked in their Snuggies,
While Porsches and Mazdas raced in their heads;
Mom in her suit and I in my race Huggies,
Had tucked in the Lotus, and put away the Zeds.

When out on the road there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter:
Expecting to see a fast Bimmer roar by,
We raced to the window, my dear wife and I.

The moon on the chrome of her GT3,
Gave the brightness of noonday to our Christmas tree.
When what should my wondering eyes betray,
But Catrinel Menghia Fiats, pulling a sleigh.

With a small hero driver so steady and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be Saint Nick!
More rapid than Grand Prix his little fleet came,
And he poured on the coal as he called them by name.


"Now KA, now PB, now KN and TD,
On VA, on TF, on NA and TC;
To the top of the esses, keep away from the wall,
Flat out through the Bus Stop and don't lift at all!"

Like Ayrton Senna and Prost fighting a duel,
They broadslid the driveway and turned on the fuel;
Up to the garage where they braked to a stop,
The sleigh full of goodies with Santa on top.

The sleigh was carbon fiber - Pagani design;
In British Racing Green, it really looked fine.
The badge bar up front stood out clear and bold,
The collection of badges a sight to behold.

He was dressed in Italian Race Red,
From the tip of his toes to top of his head;
A bundle of speed parts he had on his back,
And he chuckled with glee as he opened his pack.

His eyes, how they sparkled, like an OZ wheel,
His beard was the silver of machine-tooled steel;
With a little round face and a chubby waist line
That shook when he laughed like that M Coupe of mine.

He started his task without saying a word,
The Borla exhausts were all that was heard.
Wire wheels for Junior, to fit his TD,
Hood strap and windscreens for Lotus and me.

Some paint for the Bug, marked "French Racing Bleu",
Turbo, headers, and supercharger, too;
The last thing he left was the best that could be,
One Hot Lap presents for the family and me.


He jumped to the sleigh and gave all his mentions,
Then they took off like a wild start at the LeMons,
And I heard him exclaim as he quickened the pace,
Merry Christmas to all and to all a good race!

Author Unknown (with a little help from One Hot Lap)

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year
to all our Friends!!
Best wishes for more track days in 2014!

[kiwi285]

T'was the night before Christmas
And much merriment on the line
But not for our car crews
Who are cutting it fine

With time fast approaching
And families to please
The pressure is on
With no time to wheeze

The presents have been dealt with
But a glance under the tree
Shows nothing for the car
So it's 'Oh bugger me'

Its the crazy time of year
With all this running about
But the big seasons meetings
Give us reason to shout

So have a great season
And relax and enjoy
For soon you'll be able
To play with your toy

Mike

[fullnoise68]

Away in the manger,
Amongst all the noise under the sun,
Was Santa prepping his `new' sleigh,
A gleaming 69 Chev Camaro ZL1,

Full of gifts of all descriptions,
For all the kids near and far,
He thought to himself last years Mustang was good,
But man, this is a `real' muscle car,

One minute he was tearing up asphalt,
The next he was sideways on the grass,
Forget about the reindeer Santa,
This machine was built for hauling arse,

As he did his rounds,
Across the seven seas,
The torque was overwhelming,
And it lit the tyres up with ease,

When Santas job is over,
And we all have a bit of a rest,
Let us think of the less fortunate,
For whom everyday life is a real test,

Another year is nearly done and dusted,
Quite a few have left us this year,
Some famous names amongst them,
Whom we have read about on here,

It`s great to be able,
To read and add to what we know,
About the history of world motorsport and its people,
As the quality of most threads on here show,

To all the `gunnas' sitting around,
And the car`s in the shed with no progress showing,
The enjoyment is there to have,
If you get off your arse and get the bloody thing going!

Merry Xmas and all the best for 2014.
Steve Elliott.

[kiwi285]

Classy bit of poetry Steve. The message is there - hopefully the right people read this thread and get themselves motivated enough.

There are still some great cars lurking around out there and I would like to be able to see and hear them in action before I kick the bucket. I'll bet I am not the only one with those sentiments either.

[Malcolm McLeod]

THE 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS

On the first day of Christmas
I saw along the road
An orange Highway Patrol ticketing someone for 7 km/h over the speed limit.

On the second day of Christmas
I saw along the road
2 red Highway Patrol cars ticketing normally safe motorists
And an orange Highway Patrol car

On the third day of Christmas
In addition to the above
I saw 3 mufti cars writing speeding tickets,
2 red Highway Patrol cars
And an orange Highway Patrol car

On the fourth day of Christmas
I heard everywhere I went
4 km/h speed tolerance or you get a ticket
3 mufti cars
2 red Highway Patrol cars
And a orange Highway Patrol car

On the fifth day of Christmas
Traveling between Tauranga and the Bombays
5 speed cameras
4 km/h tolerance
3 mufti cars
2 red Highway Patrol cars
And a orange Highway Patrol car

On the sixth day of Christmas
As a result of propaganda
A queue of six cars afraid to pass a slow caravan
5 speed cameras
4 km/h tolerance
3 mufti cars
2 red Highway Patrol cars
And a orange Highway Patrol car

On the seventh day of Christmas
Upon the TV screen
7 cops denying revenue collecting
6 afraid motorists
5 speed cameras
4 km/h tolerance
3 mufti cars
2 red Highway Patrol cars
And an orange Highway Patrol car

On the eighth day of Christmas
Due to that 4 km/h tolerance
8 frustrated motorists doing dangerous moves
7 cops denying revenue collecting
6 afraid motorists
5 speed cameras
4 km/h tolerance
3 mufti cars
2 red Highway Patrol cars
And an orange Highway Patrol car

On the ninth day of Christmas
A traffic Senior Sargeant brazenly admitted
9 speeding tickets per hour per officer being issued
8 frustrated motorists
7 cops denying revenue collecting
6 afraid motorists
5 speed cameras
4 km/h tolerance
3 mufti cars
2 red Highway Patrol cars
And an orange Highway Patrol car

On the tenth day of Christmas
The cop handed out to me
10 demerit points
9 tickets per cop per hour
8 frustrated motorists
7 cops denying revenue collecting
6 afraid motorists
5 speed cameras
4 km/h tolerance
3 mufti cars
2 red Highway Patrol cars
And an orange Highway Patrol car

On the eleventh day of Christmas
The Road Policing Superintendent was forced to back down
11 km/h tolerance was back in
10 demerit points
9 tickets per hour per cop
8 frustrated motorists
7 cops denying revenue collecting
6 afraid motorists
5 speed cameras
4 km/h tolerance
3 mufti cars
2 red Highway Patrol cars
And an orange Highway Patrol car

On the twelfth day of Christmas
The cops sadly pointed out
12 extra road deaths due to motorists frustrations with the 4 km/h tolerance.........



(c) Malcolm McLeod 2013